Hi, I’m new here.

I’d like to invite you to come along on a spiritual journey with me. Before we begin, I’d like to get one thing straight…I am not a professional writer. I’m definitely not a pastor, a theologian, or even a Sunday school teacher. I’m just a woman who has gone through a lot of painful stuff. And maybe not even as much stuff as some. Everything is relative, right? But I have had my fair share of pain and frustration. And along the way I’ve learned how to lean hard into the arms of Jesus. I’m still learning though and still going through some intense stuff. Maybe you are too? I thought maybe we can learn how to lean into God together and see where it takes us.

First things first. My name is Susan. I’m a wife, mother of six and a business owner. I adopted my first 5 kids. Several of them have special needs. I also fostered 33 additional kiddoes (no, I am not a saint. Trust me!). Shortly after the fifth adoption, my marriage of 21 years tragically ended. A year and a half later, I married someone who agreed to take me, my kids and all my baggage (no, he’s not a saint either!). We got pregnant on our honeymoon…and at age 43 I gave birth to my 6th child. God has a sense of humor. So, that’s my life in a very teeny, tiny nutshell.

Throughout my 50 years of life, I have experienced infertility, chronic illness, extreme betrayal, loss, divorce, miscarriage, betrayal again, and injustice. But I’ve also experienced extreme joy, love, peace and more than anything…more than anything, more than anything…God’s faithfulness. He has met me in the deepest, darkest shadows and has never left me or forsaken me. Never. He hasn’t necessarily changed my circumstances but He has been present in the valleys, guiding me every step of the way. And He has provided peace that far surpasses any human understanding.

When we’re walking through something so excruciating, it’s easy to miss the forest through the trees. We can become so consumed by our grief and lose our way. Been there, done that….fighting it now. For me, the one thing that propels me forward is to remember that no matter what the circumstances, it’s only temporary. I know, it sounds trite…but it’s true. This earth is not our home. We’re only passing through. Our eyes are generally fixed on the wrong finish line.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Cor 4:17

When we dwell on our circumstances and take our eyes off the eternal goal we begin to sink into hopelessness.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4:18

When you’re in pain, one hour can feel like seven days. When you’re in the middle of it, pain feels like it will never end. But His timing is not our timing. Time is not a challenge for God at all. And although it may not seem like it, God is working out an amazing plan for our lives. He doesn’t offer instant gratification like the world does (which only offers temporary pleasure by the way!). He offers us sooooo much more…because He loves us just that much. He offers strength, wholeness and complete restoration. Who wouldn’t want that???

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.  I Peter 5:10

Let’s keep our eyes fixed on Him. Let’s focus on the eternal goal, not the circumstances around us. Let’s allow Him to meet us in our deepest valleys. And let’s trust Him with our pain. It will be worth it in the long run. You know how I know? Because He has always been faithful.